zef

isolation

reaching out with electrostatis hands
I touch the plastic figures with smiling naked faces
skin adorned and pierced, hair colors rainbow
so pretty
so sweet
so naughty
so desolate
so ...
so everything I am not
so much
for self-discover and releasing the dream

If you imagine you want to know me
I can be found at terminal 13
beneath flickering ultraviolet waves
with deep sunk eyes
a dust dry tongue
and an irradiated smile
in hell chamber #6

Somewhere inside there is a negative faced archer
shooting down everything I imagine
more quickly than I can give it life
there are carcasses and decayed remnants of ideas struck down by erasing words and apathy
piled at my feet like wads of paper.
--
I remove another rib
form it with primordial clay
a touch of piss and shit and cum
formulating a beast to let it roam free
aligning it's dna for exploration
set it loose in the night

In the too bright morning light
I follow it's tracks moving off into the distance
they seem playful and full of wonder
then surprised and hurried
then erradic and chaotic
then caught and dragged
snagged by some forgotten shadow creature
I had refused to accept as my own
Its body is never found,
but I feel the darkness watching me
why didn't I warn it?
--
I have two paths right now. 1) the online jewelry store works. I choose to go to NC State. Move to Raleigh (get rich).
2) it doesn't work or it does but (only mildly rich) when I come home for christmas I can't stand not being home any more, I choose to go to OSU or UC or ? I move back to the area.

3) I cave in, move back to Dayton, OH go to WSU.


"There are problems in these times, but none of them are mine. Oh baby, I am beginning to see the light!"

After graduating from a college with a BFA, I think I want to go to California to attend CalArt for an MFA. I want to stay a student forever or start smoking crack, set up a tent with a donation jar with me bent in a sex swing, asshole spread wide, mainlined to whatever drug I can get.

Or I want to submit myself to genetic testing, see if they grow me some wings so that I can sit in a cage, shit on yesterdays news, and mock everyone in the room.

Or I want to find a woman who will let me curl up in their arms until I feel well enough to come into the light.

I have four people that are currently offering me a place to live, all friends and family. How do I choose one without hurting everyone else's feelings?

Or I start a cult with an intoxicated kevin.333(a friend not on SG) as the oracle. that way I can elivate him to a position he doesn't deserve.

Or I move in with you, sit in my room masturbating into a bucket until I have enough sperm to mold a sperm boy, give him life with the menstruated blood of a woman then unleash him on the world as the messiah or Pornochio, as he lies his penis gets bigger. "Oh baby I love you!" he says over and over his penis swelling from here to the moon, when he finally releases his tantric magic load, his cum blots out the light of the sun. We die in a cold lonely darkness.

"or screeching and yelling and various offenses, lower the queen and bend her over the tub, against the state, the country, the committe, hold her head under the water please for an hour, for groveling and spewing and various offenses, puncture the bloat with the wing of a sparrow, the inverse, the obverse, the converse,the reverse, the sharpening wing of the edge of a sparrow, for suitable reckonings too numerous to mention, as the queen is fat she is devoured by rats there is one way to skin a cat or poison a rat it is hetero four hear to three forthirightly stated."

I am joking I am dirty, I am thirty and wired there are secrets in the sink and dishes on the floor trash in my closet and clothes in the backyard, put a knife in my pocket send me to the senate, I will find some truth in their skin, their green blood will stain the land for all eternity. good night.

"Climb into casket". -I a m done.

-----
quotes from Velvet Underground.