zechariah

ME: I'm funny, I'm too smart for my own good, I'm not good looking, I have tattoos and black fingernails, I wear bandanas, crooked hats, leather jackets, wristbands, chains, chucks and dickies, I have some artistic talent (but not much) I have some musical talent (but not much), I figure out how things work and how to fix them better than anyone I know, I spend too much money on magazines and guitars and clothes, I have the useless talent of being able to do any dialect accent I want (real helpful huh) I care too much about my hair, I dont care enough about myself, I let people hurt me emotionally, I fight too much physically, I stopped doing drugs but still drink too much, I am lazy and wont hold down a job, I dont have the money to get a tattooing apprenticeship, I am way too shy when it comes to girls, I am a hopeless romantic who falls in love really easily and fall out really hard, I'm pretty sure noone has ever loved me that didn't have to, I'm pretty sure I haven't ever deserved anyones love, I've fellated the barrel of a .357 mag. more than 357 times, I am afraid to die but really just as afraid to let myself live, I am afraid of hurting people by dying but at the same time afraid that noone would care, I have too much aggression to be around people and not hurt someone I love, I am too codependent to be alone and not hurt someone I hate, I am blathering and I'm sorry I made you read this, I am full of shit, I mean every word I say.
I tell myself to shut up too often

I'll shut up now.