zcollinz05

just broke up with my gf. known her for 8 years. we began hanging out and talking after my first gf (whom at the time i was young and dumb and thought i loved). i ended up back with the first gf and i have always felt like a dick for that move. but then we stayed friends which i know now had to hurt even worse. but we continued the friendship and soon began dating. it didnt go well so we broke. but then we tried again. broke. and tried this last time. and now broke again, and for the last time. we have been through so much and tried so hard. i love this girl but i guess we arent meant to be. i am so broken its not funny but i try to smile and keep on going. i think it is therapeutic to be social. i dont know how to change the pain. i have broken up with every gf i have had and never felt this. they weren't for me and i decided that on my own. this girl broke up with me. we had several problems and were diff ppl. opposites attract they say but in our case i think we just clashed heads. she was amazing. she was all i ever wanted. she was the girl i saw myself with. but we had problems that shouldnt exist in a relationship. no communication, no happy median, no give and take, limit on friends. i am never gonna forget this girl. i cant stop listening to muse - madness. it fits so well. i cant get these memories out of my mind, some kind of madness has started to evolve. i tried so hard to let her go, but some kind of madness is swallowing me whole. i have finally seen the light. and i have finally realized what she meant. but now, i need to know is this real love, or is it just madness keeping us afloat. but when i look back at all the crazy fights we had like some kind of madness was taking control. now i have finally seen the light, and i have finally realized what she needs.
so i guess I'm going to get my fishing pole and wait for another.