I just about stabbed my upstairs neighboors cat this morning.
He scared the shit outta me, jumped on the bed while I was still sleeping and I was off it sword in hand before I finished waking up. Apparently last night I left both the bathroom window and my bedroom door both open, very unlike me. But then he started purrinng and curled up next to where I was so that I could lie back down and have a purring warm spot next to me. This earned him forgiveness which he later lost again by biting my toes when I stopped petting him to read a bit.
Morals of this story:
1. Cats are fucking sneaky, I didn't even hear the bastard till he landed on the covers.
2. If you're going to scare someone who sleeps with a sword under his bed, make sure you're an adorable cat and immediately do something cute, remembering not to take the human's warm spot on the bed.
3. Humans don't chase you to the window very fast after you bite their toes.
4. Cats are bastards, they will bite your toes.
He scared the shit outta me, jumped on the bed while I was still sleeping and I was off it sword in hand before I finished waking up. Apparently last night I left both the bathroom window and my bedroom door both open, very unlike me. But then he started purrinng and curled up next to where I was so that I could lie back down and have a purring warm spot next to me. This earned him forgiveness which he later lost again by biting my toes when I stopped petting him to read a bit.
Morals of this story:
1. Cats are fucking sneaky, I didn't even hear the bastard till he landed on the covers.
2. If you're going to scare someone who sleeps with a sword under his bed, make sure you're an adorable cat and immediately do something cute, remembering not to take the human's warm spot on the bed.
3. Humans don't chase you to the window very fast after you bite their toes.
4. Cats are bastards, they will bite your toes.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
You won't believe what I finally got them to watch. And like.