zarphin

Ok wow,
So I was thinking of updating here, then I wasn't. Then a friend said I should, and I said I wasn't going to, but now I am. Hahaha. Confused yet, yea welcome to my life the last couple months. So much has changed since I last posted here, but I'll just stick with recent events, and leave the past in the past.
Late July I met a very cool girl, also quite young. She's the friend of another younger friend of mine. Shes geeky as all get out, has a tattoo, only one so far, but as she's only 21 thats a good start. Hell I'm 30, and have a bunch of plans for ink, but still zero. Sidenote, I have my earings back in! Woot, pierced again at 10, and moving up when I can. anywho. Ok so this girl. We are remarkably similar, and she's really really great. Very rarely do I realize how young she is. For me she has raised the bar as to what kind of girl I'd really like to date, and she says I have raised the bar for her as well. Yet while I want to give it a shot with her, and date, she does not want to try. She says something is missing. We sleep next to each other once a week or so, and see each other daily, it is exactly like dating, but beyond my hand venturing between her legs a couple times, in two months, we are not sexual. Very physical yes, but no sex. Which if you know my history at all, and how long it has been, is frustrating. I don't know what to do about it, but keep hanging out and hoping she begins to see how a connection like we have makes for a good relationship base, rather than being afraid of it.
I hate being in that situation, I really do, but its the best I've had for a very long time. I feel dumb as hell pursuing a 21 year old at all, but I am. I really don't have many ways of meeting new girls. My foray into online dating was a horrible experiment gone wrong, and I don't have the extensive social circles I used to have. So this girl, I'm going to keep trying. We'll see what happens. She acts like she wants the relationship, just when she thinks about it, she pulls back. yea, dumb.

--Z