Here is another joke for anyone who needs a laugh. this one is alright not the best but it will do. A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of it's head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly spoke up, "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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RE: my journal
There's a lot of people I know who won't drink the water in teh car becasue it is warm, I'm just like who gives a flying f? if it's water and I'm thirsty, I'm going to drink it. but having things floating in the water...I'm not down with that.
a young city slicker moved out to the country and his next door neighbor was a home born old country fart.
one day the city slicker came walking up to the old farmer's house with a bucket in hand. "mr. farmer, i'm your new neighbor and as i was moving in i noticed you had a big field of milkweed over there. would you mind if i got a bucket of milk from your field?
the old farmer could not believe his ears, "boy i know you're from the city but you don't get milk from milkweed!
"well do you mind if i try" said the city slicker
"go on you fool" replied the farmer.
an hour later the slicker came back with a bucket of milk. the farmer could not believe his eyes.
"thanks" said the slicker
the next day up the road came the city slicker again.
"sir, yesterday as i was getting the milk from the milkweed i noticed on that fenceline i saw a bunch of honeysuckle. do you mind if i get a bucket of honey from that honeysuckle?
the old farmer just shook his head"go ahead fool"
an hour later he came back with a bucket of honey and the farmer was getting angry thinking the city slicker was playing some kind of joke.
the next day here came the slicker down the road with the bucket again.
"mr. farmer yesterday as i was getting that honey from the honeysuckle on your fence i noticed down by your pond you have a big pussywillow tree"
the farmer cut him short"hold it right there boy i'm getting me a bucket too!"