Well.....I suck....and I let everyone down.... 
I found out that the first paycheck I was counting on (that was supposed to get to me on mon) will not get here till next payday.....2 weeks from now. Thankfully, Moms social security comes in earlier than I thought(tomorrow) so we wont be freezing much longer. But I cant get any X-mas presents now.......not for mom.....not for my 12 yr/old niece.....none
Everything I ever try fails miserably.....and 9 times outta 10 Im worse off then I was before.
I do have friends in the real world now.....and Im eternally grateful for that....but I feel like Im leeching.....
That......and my small group of friends are all in nice lil boy/girl groups......and at times (not always) Im more lonely....because they are all so happy together and I got nothing.
I just came back from there in fact.....was playing magic and watching movies. But then as I left I realized I forgot my hat....ran in...and kinda interupted them
God Im so stupid
I just found out that the first friend I made here I really considered a good friend and really enjoyed talking to is leaving. And she doesnt really have time to talk to me anymore.....so Im more than a lil upset about that
I'll miss you rudegirl
And then there is that girl I have been talking to.....and have developed a large crush on. She is still on her vacation...likely wont here from her for another couple weeks. I miss her. But to be honest I doubt she has even thought of me since the last time we talked
Im sorry....I wasnt this depressed today....I actually greatly enjoyed my time over at my friends in fact (til I made a fool of myself that is)
But I got home and started thinking.....and that is never a good thing for me to do. Started thinking as to how everything I touch turns to shit....and how I dont even come close to deserving those friends......
*sigh*
Btw....my comments to you guys today kinda suck....sorry
UPDATE
Got the propane today........but the pilot lights wont light. I called my uncle and he thinks maybe a speck of dirt got into the lines, and is clogging it. He is going to have to tear the whole thing apart to fix it. Looks like we will freeze another night.
Oh......and I discovered today that a tire on my car is flat
I found out that the first paycheck I was counting on (that was supposed to get to me on mon) will not get here till next payday.....2 weeks from now. Thankfully, Moms social security comes in earlier than I thought(tomorrow) so we wont be freezing much longer. But I cant get any X-mas presents now.......not for mom.....not for my 12 yr/old niece.....none
Everything I ever try fails miserably.....and 9 times outta 10 Im worse off then I was before.
I do have friends in the real world now.....and Im eternally grateful for that....but I feel like Im leeching.....
That......and my small group of friends are all in nice lil boy/girl groups......and at times (not always) Im more lonely....because they are all so happy together and I got nothing.
I just came back from there in fact.....was playing magic and watching movies. But then as I left I realized I forgot my hat....ran in...and kinda interupted them
God Im so stupid
I just found out that the first friend I made here I really considered a good friend and really enjoyed talking to is leaving. And she doesnt really have time to talk to me anymore.....so Im more than a lil upset about that
I'll miss you rudegirl
And then there is that girl I have been talking to.....and have developed a large crush on. She is still on her vacation...likely wont here from her for another couple weeks. I miss her. But to be honest I doubt she has even thought of me since the last time we talked
Im sorry....I wasnt this depressed today....I actually greatly enjoyed my time over at my friends in fact (til I made a fool of myself that is)
But I got home and started thinking.....and that is never a good thing for me to do. Started thinking as to how everything I touch turns to shit....and how I dont even come close to deserving those friends......
*sigh*
Btw....my comments to you guys today kinda suck....sorry
UPDATE
Got the propane today........but the pilot lights wont light. I called my uncle and he thinks maybe a speck of dirt got into the lines, and is clogging it. He is going to have to tear the whole thing apart to fix it. Looks like we will freeze another night.
Oh......and I discovered today that a tire on my car is flat
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
As far as happiness goes, once you can stand on both feet securely, they'll come looking for you. I know how lonely it gets (believe me, I know), but it's a lot better to be with someone once you can take care of you and yours. It's something that comes with time.
you're so awesome