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zanafar

middle of nowhere WV

Member Since 2004

Followers 50 Following 48

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Tuesday Nov 22, 2005

Nov 22, 2005
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Well......Im still alive tongue
Sorry it took me so long to come back....had alot of thinking to do
Things have been really wierd for me lately. Lots of good and bad.

Mom went into and back out of the hospital. They had to take her other leg off. For those not keeping count that means she now has no legs frown Hasnt been tooo awful much of a change for her though......she coul barely stand on it anyway. She acts like it doenst affect her at all.

Ive been alot more social lately. The girls I work with have invited me out to do alot of things....In the last 3 I have gone to the movies every night. I got some good friends now it seems smile

Things with the girl I talked about in my last entry are kinda,.....ummmm.......wierd. She knows exactly how I feel about her...........or at least has a good idea. One of the reasons I have fallen so hard for her is that we are really open to each other, and how I feel about her has been discussed many times.
I meant what I said before. I had every intention of cutting all ties with her because I truely believed that to be the best thing for her. But we talked a day or so later. She told me that she wanted me around her and that me not being around would be much worse than anything she thinks could happen if I am smile She also had a few choice words to say to me too......seems that I made her very sad when I said I was going to not be around her anymore and she made sure that I knew that she didnt apperciate it. blush But she did apperciate the fact that I was trying to do the right thing smile
So I still have my best friend in my life. smile She remains very much so in love with her boyfriend though.....so there seems to be little hope of me and her ever getting as close as I wish we could......but to me having her as a friend is better than not at all. Noone has EVER made me smile as much as she has ......and noone has ever been as kind to me.
We stayed late again tonight after work and I gave her another back rub. She gave me one too. And then we just lyed on the floor and cuddled again....god it was so nice. She gives me lil kisses on the cheek sometimes....and that one lil thing makes my day great.
She is energetic and every bit as perverted as me and unbelievably kind (and she looks like a GODDESS too love )
She means alot to me (should be pretty obvios now tongue ) Im a lil worried though. About two things in fact. One is the same thing I was worried about in the last entry. She is my best friend and I want her to be happy......but Im afraid that I might do something that will get her boyfriend mad at her. The second is the fact that she might not be working at walden with me too much longer. She was only there for a bit anyway while she took a break from collage.......and now the boss as decided to be kinda mean to her.......... frown
Im afraid that when she leaves I'll lose all contact with her. when people dont see someone every day they forget to send letters and eventually grow apart. I DONT want that to happen. I want to be able to see her and hug her everyday. I dont want her to dissappear from my life when she has only recently entered it frown

Okay.....I got ALOT of commenting to do now. I have ever intention to talk to everyone who has updated since I was last on. (which is about 95% of my friends list shocked ) Will take awhile though....so dont be mad at me if I dont get to you right away blush
VIEW 25 of 52 COMMENTS
artsaves1228:
are u dead? confused miao!!
Jan 1, 2006
urblueygrl:
happy new year smile
Jan 2, 2006

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