zaksmith

Contents:
1-Paintings (TemperSawaCharlieRavenAdriaVoltaireSean)
2-NOTES FROM A VERY JETLAGGED PERSON
3-Frequently Asked Questions

1-- My Paintings


(print available in the SG store)

(print available in the SG store)





2-NOTES FROM A VERY JETLAGGED PERSON

Berlin Porn Festival_

I was there but now I'm home. Almost nothing happened (to me) but I wrote a long essay about it anyway for some magazine to be named later and if I tell you guys now then my guess is they probably won't pay me.


Airplanes and Airports--

Munich, Zurich, dropping through a solid cloud, turbulence, an unbelievably deformed man in red socks, a wide character with a fat maggot neck and a black plastic telecommunicatory growth coiled behind his ear, problems with liquids, descendants of peasants_still bearded or buttoned--shuffling through space age lunacies of euroarchitecture and eurosecurity--that's airports. I want to go home.


Predator_

Saw it again for the first time in years. The monster is cool but the movie still sucks, however, in addition to the film containing two future US governors (and possibly one Current US Vice President, if my theory is correct), the Sandinista woman in the flick says that, in her village, they call the title beast "The Demon That Makes Trophies of Men".

Which is odd because I'm friends with The Demon That Makes Trophies of Men and she wouldn't dream of wasting time chasing Schwarzeneggar around Nicaragua.


Things To Do Today
(it all looks so good on paper)

__call lizzie then finish filling out, printing, mailing the MOMA's info form on the Charlie painting me_remember to add "departures" mag for this month/next month

__write back to that guy who wants to take that picture of me

__write that thing for Visual Communications journal

__pay Verizon...maybe...guh...maybe tomorrow

__print out and fill out and mail that thing so Time magazine can pay me for that picture

__ask sean for a stamp

__finish writing that Porn Fest Essay for whichever magazine wants it

__check to see if you actually got the pics for that painting of Yvette


Phone Call

"Hello, Food Not Bombs?"

"Hey, I want to make a donation and I know you can make it tax-deductible or not-tax-deductible and I was just wondering whether one would help you out more than the other?"

"Well [blahblahblahblahblah]"

"So basically it's easier for you if I do non-tax deductible so, ok, that's what I'm doing."

"How'd you find out about Food Not Bombs?"

"Uh...well...............I'm a punk."

"Ah, I see."

"Yeah.....I got this enterprise that, um...well I just think it's better if all the money from the thing goes to you guys."

"Cool, thanks, we have a lot of big things going on right now and..."

"Yeah, it's that season."

"Yeah."


It's That Season

By anyone who can be bothered to notice, November is universally acknowledged as grim. Why? There are as many reasons as November-survivors. As Nicola Masciandaro puts it

"The point is not to determine the identity of the figure in black,
but to feel its pointing"

Or, as the Wikipedia puts it, even more chillingly:

In the American South, November is known as the "month of the dog".
In Finnish, November is called marraskuu, meaning "month of the dead".
In Xhosa November is called ngeyeNkanga, meaning "month of the small yellow daisies".

In this apartment in Bushwick, November is called "suck". The weather goes wicked, my girlfriend goes to a funeral, but at least there's elections.

Let's check my Senate predictions from this summer, the election is 2 days away:

I predicted that Dems win the Republican-held Senate seats in Virginia, Wyoming, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, and Ohio but lose the others and keep all the ones they already have and thus become the majority in the senate.

Virginia and Montana are both in dead heats

Which is pathetic

How would you feel if you were the challenger and it was two days before the elections and you hadn't yet left this guy in the dust:

Virginia Senator George Allen was born to lead--even in his youth, brothers and sisters ceded him a leadership role:

"If we didn't, we knew he would kill us. Once, when Bruce refused to go to bed, George hurled him through a sliding glass door"
-his sister

or this guy:

Montana Senator Conrad Burns, who once replied to the question:
"Conrad, how can you live back there with all those niggers?"
By saying it was "a hell of a challenge."

but as I said this summer,

The good people of Montana must choose either him or a chubby, affable, hardworking organic farmer who once lost three fingers working with a meat grinder. If there is the tiniest shred of charity or sanity left in America, Burns could not possibly win. It may be tight.

Meanwhile, Wyoming, Nevada (I had so much faith in Nevada's gaming instincts and Jimmy Carter's son, but oh well) and Mississippi look bad, and the rest I was probably right about, plus, unexpectedly by me, Tennessee looks close, as does Rhode Island.

Which means what?

Which means, with just a tiny bit of luck and maybe a little time on the telephone from you, no-one will be able to get anything done in Washington until 2008.


3--Frequently Asked Questions
spoilerized to save space