Soo uh I just wrote a nice informative update and now it's gone. Because my computer needed to die.
Basically I've been shooting, living, and going to school. Things feel stressful but are going pretty well.
Even things with the boy. But I have to be honest, it hurts knowing that we were both with other people. Especailly when he got a lot of poontang and I got like non. And his was good and mine was dissapointing.
I feel like a stone has made itself comfortable in my stomach.
It's not a competition, but I'm nuts, I tell you. The inequality of the situation kills me. I think the reason it's bothering me so much lately it because one of the girls is a ghetto 17 year old who decided to get in touch with me and try to break us up (you know how highschool can be). She really thought they had something I guess, and not that she was just getting fucked. Still has a LOT to learn about men (especially men who just break up with girls they are in love with).
I gotta be honest she got to me, just like she wanted, because I doubted him again. She made me doubt him. She made my mind wander through that area of thought that hurts so much. Thinking about the other people... all the other times he slept with someone in our bed, with my picture staring blankly at him as they slept.
It's okay. He ripped her a new one for me, although I kind of had to make him. Petty, but it eased the pain just a bit. I wish he had better judgement in women at least, you know? If they're not good enough to date, they're not good enough to fuck either, in my eyes.
I don't know. It brings up all of those stupid questions no one wants to ask. I just have to swallow it. I don't need to know where, how, when, and why. But I want to for some reason, it's ridiculious. It just shows you how seriously dwindled my self confidence has become.
No worries though.. I am woman. It's just another obstacle, and it's not even that hard of one either. Just sort of pulling and nagging at me.
Basically I've been shooting, living, and going to school. Things feel stressful but are going pretty well.
Even things with the boy. But I have to be honest, it hurts knowing that we were both with other people. Especailly when he got a lot of poontang and I got like non. And his was good and mine was dissapointing.
I feel like a stone has made itself comfortable in my stomach.
It's not a competition, but I'm nuts, I tell you. The inequality of the situation kills me. I think the reason it's bothering me so much lately it because one of the girls is a ghetto 17 year old who decided to get in touch with me and try to break us up (you know how highschool can be). She really thought they had something I guess, and not that she was just getting fucked. Still has a LOT to learn about men (especially men who just break up with girls they are in love with).
I gotta be honest she got to me, just like she wanted, because I doubted him again. She made me doubt him. She made my mind wander through that area of thought that hurts so much. Thinking about the other people... all the other times he slept with someone in our bed, with my picture staring blankly at him as they slept.
It's okay. He ripped her a new one for me, although I kind of had to make him. Petty, but it eased the pain just a bit. I wish he had better judgement in women at least, you know? If they're not good enough to date, they're not good enough to fuck either, in my eyes.
I don't know. It brings up all of those stupid questions no one wants to ask. I just have to swallow it. I don't need to know where, how, when, and why. But I want to for some reason, it's ridiculious. It just shows you how seriously dwindled my self confidence has become.
No worries though.. I am woman. It's just another obstacle, and it's not even that hard of one either. Just sort of pulling and nagging at me.
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
brokenhouse:
happy valentine's day sweetie 
aaronidiot:
Hey, if you are still interested in the Mass. SG420 smokeout this Sunday, email me at aaronsmiles@aol.com.