zahra

I have not attended class once this week, And nor will I attend today or tomorrow. First I must get a doctor's note which will come tomorrow when I GET MY STITCHES OUT! Anyone want to coooome?

Regardless of my laceration I am still trying to do some work. I'm modeling for a life drawing class tonight in Wilmington. This will be my first time doing something like this so I'm a little nervous, wish me luck!

Things have been stressfull and depressing and foggy. I have been a pill whore for the past week. Because of the vicodin I've been completely dumbed down. I've also been ridiculiously tired, so I decided to tip it off with aderall.

Thus, a very very stupid Zahra. I'm glad I didn't go to class because it was midterm week and I would have died.

I've been very sad, and the only way for me to not deal with it is to get trashed and then make sure I will wake up next to someone the next morning. Last night I decided to break that cycle and go to bed alone and sober.

I have so much shit to take care of but everything is falling apart and I don't want to. Between homework, therapists, parents, getting my meds refilled, blowing my money on NOTHING, being poor, making time for friends, I am going insane.

This week was a nice break but it really wasn't. I was numb the entire time. That is until I let my mind return to its normal state, then I spent my days curled in a ball crying.