zaftigg

red ribbons down my wrists
haven't had the urge in so long and I know it's not supposed to be like this I know I'm supposed to have called you first but I'm hoping that by the end of ze entry the urge will be gone. funny, it seems to be growing. I dont want to bother you. I don't know how many times I've called you this eve already and it sounds like such a blast in the background but a promise is a promise. would you be angry with me if I broke a promise so soon? broken folk don't keep promises very well. I'm about as brokedown as they come right now. this is the first time post meds post mike that I've been like this. funny how months can seem like an entire history. not even a year off meds and I'm getting those old feelings. spose it wasn't just ze meds. spose it's always been me. my lord this is a sappy ramble session, no? I hate these sordid entries crying for help. There is no help. Already infected... shit, do I call or do I cut... I really shouldn't bother you again, but a promise is a promise, but you sound like you're having fun, how angry would you be with me in august if you saw the scars? I hate myself right now for everything I never was.