So. I was pulled on through Columbia College Chicago's Ann "Smith" to write as a correspondant for a Cannes trip that us here estudantes went on. Well. At our initial meeting with "Ann," I was told that we wouldn't be censored. Apparently she didn't know who she was talking to.
Here was my blog that didn't go up. Enjoy:
As you may and/or may not have heard, the living situation at Cannes for us fortunate soldiers is a bit cramped. The room situation is very delightfully hostel-esque with four other roommates cozied together. Generally, it's two students per room... errr... closet and then an RA- esque individual who gets to lounge in the walk-in closet on a slightly larger bed. Generally, the day is: you wake up. If you got a shower last night, lovely, because four other girls are wrestling in the shower, so unless you want some passive aggressive towel suds cat fight action with the ladies, you double up on the deodorant, hose down with the cheap perfume, and make it work.
The rest of the day is spent in Cannes, you know, doing your thing, and trying to avoid conversations that center around George Clooney's whereabouts (I heard he was on the yacht today). And then maybe you have a little wine and head back home to either shower or sleep. Right right?
So when, might you ask, does one get any alone time? I mean, between the cozy dorm life and sweating en masse with a group of strangers, how does one find time to find... release?
I have a strategy that I've perfected. If you follow these simple guidelines, you too can find a way to masturbate in the midst of insanity ON A DAILY BASIS. I'm not kidding. Listen up. First off. Find out the schedules of your roommates. Are they a light sleeper? No? Bonus. How long do they shower? That factors in big time. Luckily, our rooms have a key system which allows one to hear a lock box being opened before the door is even touched (my bunk is right by the front door). It also depends on you. Be honest. Are you a morning person?? If so, the shower thing may be key. People are running in and out so it's really not the best time. And daylight is just not your friend. Flesh tends to look better from awkward angles in the dark. And you can fake a stomach ache or a bad dream.
Get your sass on and be well all.
I just saw the new David Wain film, THE TEN. Stellar. I can't wait to see it when it opens in the US, though, and see it with a more lively audience, perhaps.
Here was my blog that didn't go up. Enjoy:
As you may and/or may not have heard, the living situation at Cannes for us fortunate soldiers is a bit cramped. The room situation is very delightfully hostel-esque with four other roommates cozied together. Generally, it's two students per room... errr... closet and then an RA- esque individual who gets to lounge in the walk-in closet on a slightly larger bed. Generally, the day is: you wake up. If you got a shower last night, lovely, because four other girls are wrestling in the shower, so unless you want some passive aggressive towel suds cat fight action with the ladies, you double up on the deodorant, hose down with the cheap perfume, and make it work.
The rest of the day is spent in Cannes, you know, doing your thing, and trying to avoid conversations that center around George Clooney's whereabouts (I heard he was on the yacht today). And then maybe you have a little wine and head back home to either shower or sleep. Right right?
So when, might you ask, does one get any alone time? I mean, between the cozy dorm life and sweating en masse with a group of strangers, how does one find time to find... release?
I have a strategy that I've perfected. If you follow these simple guidelines, you too can find a way to masturbate in the midst of insanity ON A DAILY BASIS. I'm not kidding. Listen up. First off. Find out the schedules of your roommates. Are they a light sleeper? No? Bonus. How long do they shower? That factors in big time. Luckily, our rooms have a key system which allows one to hear a lock box being opened before the door is even touched (my bunk is right by the front door). It also depends on you. Be honest. Are you a morning person?? If so, the shower thing may be key. People are running in and out so it's really not the best time. And daylight is just not your friend. Flesh tends to look better from awkward angles in the dark. And you can fake a stomach ache or a bad dream.
Get your sass on and be well all.
I just saw the new David Wain film, THE TEN. Stellar. I can't wait to see it when it opens in the US, though, and see it with a more lively audience, perhaps.
winter_davis:
You're so motivated!