yummysugah

it has been something like 4 months since my last panic attack. now what do you know. i'm not crazy. i'm not taking any special pills for that. it just comes and goes. usually when it hits me, i faint, puke my guts out, shiver and sometimes cry. all i need in that time is to be hugged and that's all. my best friend once held my all night long. that's all i really need. there i was lying in his arms, waiting for the feeling to pass away. that's all i can really do in that time. just wait. i didn't even cried then because i knew that he was with me. that was on my 2nd time. the 3rd and so far the last time it happend was a night before he joined the army. then i was all by myself and it was terrible. i dunno why i had this sudden urge to write it all down. i guess it's because i can't fall asleep. it's been 4 months and i can't tell when will be the next time. it's like i'm hunting my own self. here's something you didn't know about me. now you should be wondering what else i never told you about me..


'I Can Learn'

"..I don't know any lullabys,
I don't know how to make you mine,
but I can learn.
In lonely days long ago,
I saw lovers put on a show,
well now it's my turn."

..No harm will come of this,
one little midnight kiss.
It will not burn.
for many lonely days,
I feel like a throw away,
well now it's my turn."