not sure when I'll learn.
an ex girlfriend I was with for 2 years, whom was my first love, and first close to everything back in high school, is still into me. We broke up because she was on drugs behind my back and then cheated on me for the drug lord in the area. Afterwards she went to multiple mental hospitals. She is diagnosed with borderline and sex addiction. Those who know how extreme borderline is should know it'd be stupid for me to be involved. Well I am stupid. We kept talking. A few times we had sex. Actually a lot. Just yesterday, instead of hanging out with my friends who were there for me for years, I pick her up and we have oral. Of course, later on her grandmother showed me her journal she's been required to write into every day. Nobody was supposed to look at is, but she was still required by her therapist to write in there. There are some seriously messed up things in there that I won't say, but I'm rather hurt, for the 4th time by the same woman. I've loved before, I've had great sex before, I've had good memories before, but still haven't been able to fill this gap in my heart she gave me for two years. I haven't been able to say no to her. I still question if it's because of the hot sex or because I still love her deep down or because I haven't found anything or anyone to help me keep my mind off her, for good.
an ex girlfriend I was with for 2 years, whom was my first love, and first close to everything back in high school, is still into me. We broke up because she was on drugs behind my back and then cheated on me for the drug lord in the area. Afterwards she went to multiple mental hospitals. She is diagnosed with borderline and sex addiction. Those who know how extreme borderline is should know it'd be stupid for me to be involved. Well I am stupid. We kept talking. A few times we had sex. Actually a lot. Just yesterday, instead of hanging out with my friends who were there for me for years, I pick her up and we have oral. Of course, later on her grandmother showed me her journal she's been required to write into every day. Nobody was supposed to look at is, but she was still required by her therapist to write in there. There are some seriously messed up things in there that I won't say, but I'm rather hurt, for the 4th time by the same woman. I've loved before, I've had great sex before, I've had good memories before, but still haven't been able to fill this gap in my heart she gave me for two years. I haven't been able to say no to her. I still question if it's because of the hot sex or because I still love her deep down or because I haven't found anything or anyone to help me keep my mind off her, for good.