youresugardaddy

Well i decided to go to bed a bit early and ended up having a rather bizzarre nightmare. I met god, and he asked me what i wanted. After much debate i asked him for someone to love, and someone who would love me. Lo and behold i turn around there's katie. We held each other and kissed. After a few kisses i told her i loved her and she told me the same. Then when we looked at each other, she began to float. Shortly afterwards i was hlding onto her hands as tight as i could as she drifted up. She pulled me up with her aways an we kissed again, then my hands slipped and i fell. I tried jumping but i could'nt get close enough. Eventually she drifted away and disapeared. I sat down and started crying. When i woke up i went outside and walked around and found myself writing her eulogy in my head.

I felt a lil awkward. Im now wondering how it'll all end. I cant imagine her leaving me, and i could'nt leave her. There's no way she could do something to deserve my leaving her. So i realized the only real end would be one of us dying. So after having a good idea what i would say if she was dead i think i know what i need to give her. I siad in my head "What she wanted from me was someone who would listen and understand her." I now think i really need to put forth the effort to understand where she's coming from. I know she was addicted to some heavy drug a few years ago and admitted herself into rehab. I know her mother died of cancer. But i dont know waht drug she was addicted to, or waht kind of cancer her mom had.

I also want to right down her eulogy. And maybe read it to her. I also want her to write me my eulogy, but im a lil afraid of waht she might say. Im scared i mean too much to her.