yourdaddy

Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies Id nibbled, the eggnog Id taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),

Id remember the marvelous meals Id prepared:

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The bread and the cheese/ And the way Id never said, No. thank you, please.

As I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt

and prepared once again to do battle with dirt

I said to myself as only I can: You cant spend a winter disguised as a man!

So away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be vanished.

I wont have a cookie--not even a lick.

Ill only chew on a long celery stick.

I wont have hot biscuits or corn bread or pie.

Ill munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

Im hungry, Im lonesome and life is a bore. But isnt that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

--author unknown