yoko

teh worries are all me...
okay so with just 5 DAYS TIL NEW YORK
and 4 DAYS TIL THE BRAZILIAN WAX (which i no longer have money for)


*which is a worry, cause i am really fucked for money...
i don't have any, honestly,
sweetass is gonna kill me casu ei can't even pay for that damn wax,
& were gogin to together, adn yo i need it, cause i don't need no fuckin
red bumpies, infront of all these peeps

*the money worries
i still need to to get to work two days this week, bu ti will walk home
bu ti need to eat at work
i need to eat in new york, i need to get into toronto first
yikes
i need subway for around TO
i need food to eat on teh bus ride to NY
i have no money for ANY of this
& urgently i need money for batteries, for my digi camera
i need to get mtich & joanne soemthing for letign me mooch at their place
teh whole time



*the emotional worries, this is the nastyyyyy stuff
worries about the crying thing, yah i cry
adn yah i live like i have a lump in my throat in some
social situations
worries i won't have back up, in situations of crying, panic attacks, & feelings
of parania & fainting spells
i need the back up
i won't have a cushie shoulder

*teh getting naked worries
stress is me about those damn stretch marks
yah i know i had 2 fucking babies i nursed, liek a good mommie should
but alt-porn don't care for that
neither will teh photographers, or what
about all those perfect titties i will see bouncing
adn my ass is fat yo
will it be closed sets
i lvoe gettign naked, but i hate ebing judged on my bod
so thats kinda fucked
i love being naked with freinds, whateve
but this is sooooo different
anyone know any mantras, before ya get naked infront
of
tons of those you don't know..???????



*insecurity worries
like will i come off as a shy cunt or a snobby bitch
will i make such an ass of myself
will i act liek a loser
will i be defensive, thats teh worst
will i cry in public
will i be tough enough, ya
will my clothes make me look like suchan outsider,
like i ain't no new york hipster
(damn and that word is such a don't)


*wil i get teh food i need
i eats lots i lvoe to eat
but my hosts are vegan
and i like cheeseburgers w/ bacon, and gravy on the fries?!
and i have no money to buy food

*will i make a porn film
well its an option


i will follow vice dos advice, and wear heels
ALOT
well, but for my flat point shoes for the bus ride
i have no luggage & i have no sleeping bag