yellowdays

so i worked out today. mosty thought i was gonna die, as per usual , but i survived like i always do. 12lbs is a good start. if i loose another 20lbs in the next couple of months i will have reached my 6 month goal by 4 months. w00t. i feel so healthy. i will one day be confident enough to apply to be an sg. i used to think it was just some fantasy, but i truely believe i will actually reach my goal weight at some point in the next 1 & 1/2yr . it will be hard, but not as hard as i used to think it would be. ive proven that to myself by loosing the amount ive lost doing things half heartidely, now im ready for hard core. im ready to stop finding crap food to eat (which is hard being vegan, but i have somehow still managed > ) and making time to work out. if i can find time and energy in the middle of my 8 day stretch to work out 3 times, i can do it on a regular basis no matter what. FUCKING RIGHTS im motivated. i wanna look hot in a dress. i wanna look hot in my langerie. and if i already do, i wanna feel like i look hot TO ME. and i can do it. i feel like im on my way.