yellowdays

its strange. once you let that gaurd down, its hard to put back up, because i dont want to put it back up. its such a worry free moment when you let go and feel like its ok to do it. for so long thats all i wanted and then i hated it and didnt care if i ever found it, then i was completly indifferent towards it, now it scares me.

it worries me that im not worried cuz i dont want to be worried cuz not worrying is a really nice feeling but then i get worried. bahahahahahaha. im such a freak.