i found out the other day that a girl i knew died on sunday. we were not close, not even friends, we only knew each other cuz our sisters have been in the same class since grade 2. but she was a nice girl, we would be very friendly with each other when we saw one another and she was friends with people i used to be close to but am not anymore. she was really pretty, long red hair, freckles EVERYWHERE and built really nice. i envied her a bit wheni was in high shcool but she was too nice to not like 
she was engaged and i geuss a drunk driver hit her and her fiancee(he was driving) and only she died. it makes me sad, but like i said we didnt really know each other, i dont think we realy ever hung out even once.
and then yesterday my sister told me that my 'ex'(not really an ex but a guy i have a bit of a history with) was over hanging out at her friends house(cuz he used to hang out with his roomate a lot) so i started thinking about him, wich i do every now and then anyhow cuz hes expecting a baby any day now(with the girl he tried to cheat on with me but i never slept with him)and im always wondering if i should email him so we could go out for a drink and talk about life...but thats kinda why we never got together,he never wants to talk about life. and also why i always used to go back to him, i want to pick his brain so badly, its terrible how sexy it can be to dangle who you are just out of reach of someone. mysteriousness should never be underestemated.
so anyhow having these two situations in my head i had a very realistic dream in which the 'ex' died. in my dream i could not tell it wasnt real(i usually can and then wake up right away) and i got very upset. it was a very long dream that went through a couple of days of me freakingout and being a basket case over the death of this guy. and i realised i would be. even though he can be the biggest dick head, i still wish we were friends. so upon waking up sobing i concluded that i should email him, ive been juggling the idea back and forth (seeing as his gf has a lot of hostility towards me) and had decieded to leave well enough alone. but i was frantic in my dream, balistic really. so fuck that imature bitch, ill email who i want, so i did. lol. i dont really think he'll email me back or if he does im not sure itll be a nice note anyhow because we didnt really leave off on the best note, but what ever. maybe a baby will make him open up, then again maybe it will close him off more. i can never tell with that boy.
she was engaged and i geuss a drunk driver hit her and her fiancee(he was driving) and only she died. it makes me sad, but like i said we didnt really know each other, i dont think we realy ever hung out even once.
and then yesterday my sister told me that my 'ex'(not really an ex but a guy i have a bit of a history with) was over hanging out at her friends house(cuz he used to hang out with his roomate a lot) so i started thinking about him, wich i do every now and then anyhow cuz hes expecting a baby any day now(with the girl he tried to cheat on with me but i never slept with him)and im always wondering if i should email him so we could go out for a drink and talk about life...but thats kinda why we never got together,he never wants to talk about life. and also why i always used to go back to him, i want to pick his brain so badly, its terrible how sexy it can be to dangle who you are just out of reach of someone. mysteriousness should never be underestemated.
so anyhow having these two situations in my head i had a very realistic dream in which the 'ex' died. in my dream i could not tell it wasnt real(i usually can and then wake up right away) and i got very upset. it was a very long dream that went through a couple of days of me freakingout and being a basket case over the death of this guy. and i realised i would be. even though he can be the biggest dick head, i still wish we were friends. so upon waking up sobing i concluded that i should email him, ive been juggling the idea back and forth (seeing as his gf has a lot of hostility towards me) and had decieded to leave well enough alone. but i was frantic in my dream, balistic really. so fuck that imature bitch, ill email who i want, so i did. lol. i dont really think he'll email me back or if he does im not sure itll be a nice note anyhow because we didnt really leave off on the best note, but what ever. maybe a baby will make him open up, then again maybe it will close him off more. i can never tell with that boy.