yellokitty

I really hope i don't spend my whole day, pre-work, inside. I like to pretend that whatever i choose to do was completely outside of my command. Funny, because you'd think i'd believe in fate if i like to be dillusional about my free will, but nah. I hate the idea of destiny, fate, etc. Hate it. It's pretty and crap, but i'd rather be responsible. I still hope i get out some.

Ever have a cute day? You know... wake up and look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, and your dreds are all frizzy and stickin' up ala coolio and your eyes are all dark underneath and your jammies are all wrinkled, but you still look pretty damn cute? Yeah. I like cute days. I think this cute day was mainly because i dyed my hair a couple days ago and i really like it. Well, my hair was black in the front and auburn in the back, but my roots are growing out and the auburn is light brown now, so i threw some mandarin punky color in that beeyotch and i'm as good as new. I'm totally red again. Redder than before. Reds and pinks are my all time favorite colors to dye my hair because my eyes are blue and they pop out when my hair is pink or red.


I'm hungry. I think i want jimmy johns... but if i'm gonna do the sammich thing, i should do the subway thing. Or maybe the gyros thing. Mmmm... 6-fucking-50 gyros meal... I love getting raped. Same crap costs 3 bucks where i grew up. Bastards. *shakes fist*

I had a dream last night about an ex boyfriend of mine, Ben. Ben is the only ex boyfriend who made me feel like i should be more. He didn't really do it, i did it to myself. He was a film grad and associate producer at a movie producing... thing, Strata. As soon as he moved to chicago and got friends who could get him into clubs and knew people who knew people who knew people who could fill-in-the-blank, his life got too big for me. He was 21 now. I was 20. So he started going to all the hip nightspots and i got jealous and broke up with him. But didn't get over him. He still represented something i'd wanted. He was so goddamned hip, it made me insane. C'mon... what's more hip than a mexican/american jew? I've been over him for while, but still miss him sometimes. We were really good friends and did lots of fun stuff. I think he was on drugs before and after we broke up. He got really skinny really fast.
Anyway... had a dream that he was trying to kiss me while Jonny was standing right behind him. it was really strange.

Yeah, ANYway... Jonny and I went out to Champaign to have a peek at a new place to live. 275 + 1/3 the utilities, for a room (with its own bathroom, fridge, cupbords, entrance) in a pretty, older house. It's nice and it's right on the bus line and not far from downtown. Anyway, it's ours. We have it. So, yeah. Apparently there is a DSL line in the house, just not to our room just yet, so hopefully all will be well by the time we get there. I'm super excited. The room is on the second floor so the entrance has this wooden (sturdy!) staircase just covered in vines. I love vines! There actually is room outside the door enough to call it a balcony and it has eaves and a socket for a bulb and ARGH! I don't want to live here no more. I'm so excited. I put in my notice at the gas station yesterday. gave him til the 15th to find someone to replace me. I feel bad... S'gonna be quite a feat... you know... replacing me.