yeahexactly

so im reading two new books
Tao Te Ching and The Satanic Bible.
The Tao Te Ching makes me feel like i did when i was really into martial arts and meditated all the time.
Its a really good feeling, its kind of like im getting to know myself better. there is a lot of things i need to work on to make myself into the person i want to be.

The Satanic Bible i really really enjoy. purely the fact that all of my "evil" desires are just natural is really refreshing. i dont know how i feel about the whole magic portion of it. i have a hard time standing up for myself and not feeling like a jerk. i no longer fear as much as i used to, i also am not nearly as offended by things.
again there are quite a few things i need to work on if i want to become the man i want to be.

im also trying to figure out what i really want for myself.
and if its worth hurting other people in order to do it.
and if it will make me happy in the end.

so pretty much things have been the same as they have always been.
im also starting to write again, i mght even be joining a band.
who knows.