haven't posted in years. geez.
i guess that's what happens when you get your shit together.
just finished school (i think) to wind up with a b.s. in biology. hmm. so what now?
med school! maybe.
most bio majors are shitting bricks worrying about getting in.
and me? so fucking non-chalant about it, like, "yeah, i guess i'll go to medical school."
hah! what an asshole, right? like maybe i should respect the idea as much as practically everyone else? take the mcat, apply apply apply, get interviewed, etc.
so, what's keeping me back?
just ended a two-year relationship. maybe that's it!
bullshit. i've had this attitude even when the relationship was good.
hmm, maybe i'm just lazy?
naw, maybe a little, but if i were so lazy, i wouldn't have done well in school, and i wouldn't bust my ass everyday at work.
well, maybe i'm worried that medicine isn't for me?
hmm, could be, given that i generally don't care if people get sick or not.
no, that sounds harsh. what i mean is...people make choices to live unhealthy lives, so is it right to put so much effort into negating their choices?
my grandparents are a good example of this. i love them and i want them to be around for a long time, but c'mon! grandma's practically diabetic but eats cake for dinner. grandpa has like 20% of his heart capacity but still smokes everyday. i understand the choices they make are compounded over their sixty-some years and that changing now is almost impossible and probably futile, but still...it comes down to choice.
and what about the people that don't make choices? what about the people that are struck with the shitty side of chance? the biologist in me says, "hey, look at the rest of the living world. compared to the vast majority, we've got extremely good odds, which may fuck us in the ass in the long-run. so why perpetuate it?"
don't know.
but i do know that technically-speaking, i would be a very good physician. how much of my decision, however, should be based on this? does the heart of it all come later? or should it have already been seeded in me?
ray.
i guess that's what happens when you get your shit together.
just finished school (i think) to wind up with a b.s. in biology. hmm. so what now?
med school! maybe.
most bio majors are shitting bricks worrying about getting in.
and me? so fucking non-chalant about it, like, "yeah, i guess i'll go to medical school."
hah! what an asshole, right? like maybe i should respect the idea as much as practically everyone else? take the mcat, apply apply apply, get interviewed, etc.
so, what's keeping me back?
just ended a two-year relationship. maybe that's it!
bullshit. i've had this attitude even when the relationship was good.
hmm, maybe i'm just lazy?
naw, maybe a little, but if i were so lazy, i wouldn't have done well in school, and i wouldn't bust my ass everyday at work.
well, maybe i'm worried that medicine isn't for me?
hmm, could be, given that i generally don't care if people get sick or not.
no, that sounds harsh. what i mean is...people make choices to live unhealthy lives, so is it right to put so much effort into negating their choices?
my grandparents are a good example of this. i love them and i want them to be around for a long time, but c'mon! grandma's practically diabetic but eats cake for dinner. grandpa has like 20% of his heart capacity but still smokes everyday. i understand the choices they make are compounded over their sixty-some years and that changing now is almost impossible and probably futile, but still...it comes down to choice.
and what about the people that don't make choices? what about the people that are struck with the shitty side of chance? the biologist in me says, "hey, look at the rest of the living world. compared to the vast majority, we've got extremely good odds, which may fuck us in the ass in the long-run. so why perpetuate it?"
don't know.
but i do know that technically-speaking, i would be a very good physician. how much of my decision, however, should be based on this? does the heart of it all come later? or should it have already been seeded in me?
ray.