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Narnia

Member Since 2009

Followers 284 Following 255

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Monday Oct 01, 2012

Oct 1, 2012
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So, I'm pretty sure I've just lost my best friend.
We haven't seen much of each other this past year, and she recently started ignoring me completely.

Apparently this just "aren't the same". She feels uneasy when around me....But this isn't completely my fault. Sure, I've been rather abrasive lately, but she's also become a pretty unhealthy person. Her anxiety is out of control, she's a total workaholic, and is extremely sensitive about everything. She also doesn't communicate.
How am I supposed to help with anything, when I don't know that anything is even wrong??
I've been friends with her for nearly 10 years, and she's just throwing it away. Pushing it under the fucking rug, like I'm some piece of evil dirt.
I feel like she's painted me into some sort of villain. I texted her today and tried to plead my case....in the end, she stopped responding.
I don't know if I should call her, or try to meet up with her, or just accept the loss, cry for a month and try to move on.
We were supposed to be dorky, misfit buddies forever. I won't hesitate to admit that I loved her.
How can you just drop such a formerly solid friendship? If you really cared, you'd try to work on it. Friendships of this length aren't so different from relationships.

I'm just at a total loss now....I'm so sad, and it's just getting worse. It also doesn't help that today was a shit day even without all this.
Bombed 2 college quizes, learned I have a big project due on Monday, and today would've been an old, deceased friend's 24th birthday. (He's been gone for a little over 2 years now).
I have everything working against me today, and I pretty much woke up to my friend telling me that "things just aren't the same anymore"

I want to say so many hurtful things, because this hurts so much. Possibly worse than any breakup I've gone through.

I'm ready to give up on so much.








kiss
t8rr8r:
This is pretty much how all of my breakups go. I've lost a few friends like this though too, we just drift apart until it's spoiled and past due. I feel like I've done something to push them out because they do things that just make me feel like crap, like they are all the sudden against me. In the end though I realize it's just how they are and it has little or nothing to do with me. I am myself, unique in everyway, and I've learned to be okay with that. The more I'm just me and selective about who I let into my life, the better friends I have, and the less things like this happen. I guess in the end what I'm saying is, I think I know how you feel, and I hope things get better soon. smile
Oct 1, 2012

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