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yaoth

Idaho

Member Since 2017

Followers 74 Following 348

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Some Things Are hard to put into words

Jan 28, 2018
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Hello again everyone.

Sorry about not posting anything last week but i think i took a nap on the bus. I cant remember but doesnt matter. It can be hard to think of topics to write about every week. Now i understand why theres the weekly homework. 😁 There is always a lot on my mind just due to the nature of my work. Just manual laber that doesnt take much thinking so my mind is free to lisren to music, learn a new language or just wander off to where it wants. Sometimes i can do all three. Lately what has been on my mind is just basic civility, or simpler, how we treat one another. Now before i go off about how people can be mean and we really need to treat people better let me first talk about myself. I have a, dont want to call it a reputation, more like a stigma maybe, that Im an asshole. Now surely I can be but the reasons i get why baffle me. Firstly, im not the friendliest person at work because i dont talk to a lot of them. Im of the mindset that i have a job im getting paid to do so im just going to do that. I don't take many breaks and the ones I do are normally spent outside in my car. This is where i check SG, issues if i bring NSFW things into the breakroom, learning/speaking German or getting high because my job is that brain numbing at times. I dont ask people about their weekends and dont talk about mine. Everyone else basically half asses their work why gossip or flirt with one another. Im happily married and 10 years older then most my coworkers so we have nothing to talk about.

Another reason people think I can be mean is because i dont say high to every single one of my coworkers every single damn day, even the ones i have never spoken to or know their names. I have lived in the US my whole life and i still dont understand saying hi to strangers. I dont do it and people hate me for it. They say hi to me but i say nothing back. If im in a good mood, and can hear them over the nonstop music or podcast im listening to, they may get a head nod.

If you hang out with me outside work though I am the most loving caring individual out there. Well maybe not but im damn good. I just completely seperate my personal life from my professional life. I suppose it would be different if you were doing something you loved but if not I wish more people would seperate the two. There is so much work drama almost everywhere i have worked its mind boggling.

On the flipside of this i help out everyone at work. If im done and you're not, probably because you were screwing around, I always come help. After all my work is done, and they wont let me go home, then maybe I will chat a little about my interests but they never coincide with my wife coworkers. I love helping customers. I only get to do it the very end of my shift but its enjoyable for me. Most people in retail hate dealing with customers. So why are you in a customer service job?

Anyway I think I veered really far from my original idea here so lets just move on. I have decided to quit smoking weed. Its most likely temporary but well see how it goes. I need to save money, clear my head and in all honesty, just lower my tolerance a bit. Its always hard at first because i use it to control my mood swings. I think im a manic depressive but never been tested and the older i get the less it effects me. Either way i start relying on the THC and become addicted to it on a chemical level. Another reaso. To quit or at the least take a few months off.

On a lighter note before I clock into work I am going to World Con 2018 in San Jose, Ca this August. I have never been to a con before or to the bay area. Really looking forward to it as there is going to be a Masquerade!!!! Sounds so fun besides on the normal fun con stuff to do. I'll write more on this later though.

Also, in my quest for knowledge and languages i have really dove headfirst into my German lessons and have gotten more into my Norwegian. Such a crazy language that is. Someday id like to speak at least 5 languages so have any suggestions? So many i want to learn.

Well its work time so its brain wandering time too

Have a great day everyone andvdo something nice today, or everyday. Makes the world a better place.

Much love

Yaoth

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