xyuzero

okay... i think i'll make my yearly post here. same shit different day kinda. i got a new job assignment at work with better days off. i'm off sundays and mondays now, awesome for football and nascar. YEAH, i said it, NASCAR. for relationship stuff it's good too.

as for relationship matters... i'm trying to end an "on again, off again" relationship. the bad part is, i do care about her. she has an awesome family that i love. she has a job. she's not a drug addict. we have some wild, crazy sex. she likes porn. BUT, she drives me abso-fucking-lutely crazy. i mean the bad crazy. i know that she wants to get married and have kids and all that, and i don't right now. she's gonna be 35 this yr and her clock is ticking. but i'm too selfish to have kids right now. sooo.... i was all set to end things permanently on tuesday. she ended up balling her eyes out, with the whole "i'll love you forever" " i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you" and all of that tear jerking stuff. so yeah, i couldn't do it. i felt too guilty, and i think she knows it. she's a good person, and i hate to hurt her. but i know i have and probably continue to miss out on other relationships were i could be happier. i know it'll only get worse, but i'm a sucker i guess. hopefully i'll grow a set of balls in the next couple of days and break it off for good. wish me luck!