xynnedra

I'm having a crisis of my self-esteem. I'm not usually not the type of person who totally craves of dwells on what other people think about me, but I have gotten used to hearing I look good. I'm hot, I'm sexy, fuck....That someone wants to fuck me. Maybe i've been totally dwelling so much in work that I have let myself go sort of. But hell everyone wants to hear something nice. I guess it got worse since I got out of the hospital but now I need to hear it. Is that so wrong, am I turning into an insane plastic bobble head. Or should get that from someone. A woman, A man someone who wouldn't think twice about licking the scar on my stomach or suck on my nipple ring.

I'm being silly. I'm also going through a violent phase. I'm really into my Tae Kwon Do right now. I like the fact that I get to hit something hard and not be scared of breaking something. My sensei actually yells at me if I don't try to hit something hard. If I look like I'm holding back I get reprimanded. (I'm starting to like that too.) The punishment.... pushing my body to the limit. More sit ups more push ups....keep going don't stop as the sweat beads on my forehead, trailing down my back Tightening my breasts, making my body shiver.

Damn if only I could come from that.