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xylitol

Member Since 2004

Followers 0 Following 9

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Monday Jun 06, 2005

Jun 5, 2005
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Pack up, I'm a stray....

Stagnant, the last couple weeks it seems like I have been idle while the world has been passing me by. It's probably that I work much more than before. Changing positions has had both negative and positive repercussions. From being a bus-boy to food-runner (the one whom takes the food to occupants within the restaurant the hours increased my fifty-percent. But I do make a lot more money in tips and at hourly wage than before but at the cost of my quality of life as it seems to have decreased ten-fold. The time I can use to be doing either productive or creative excersizes my mind is elsewhere.

This sense of "elsewhere" is due to many realizations I have come acrossed in such a short period of time. On top of that much changes in my situations forces me to get accustomed to them. Friends are out and about while others have moved on. It is getting rather difficult to assimilate it all at once. As of recently I haven't been organized with my thoughts, my life, and amongst many other things.

One of those other things is the topic I hate admitting to but I feel rather lonely at the moment. It has been over two years since I had a companion and until now a yearning is creeping in and I feel almost powerless to its influence.

With all this my imagination and sense of creativity has decreased immensely. With that my ability to make fine work is impossible from the effects of poor inspiration. Do I chase peformance arts, civil engineering/architectural design, industrial design, or photo journalism? Do I try to do them all but how can I balance all these interests? We are complex animals, aren't we?

Portland? Hawaii? So many questions that I am so trying to answer.
alisa:
hey... i started a new group thought you might want to check it out

MLS- US National Team - USL
Jun 13, 2005

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