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xylitol

Member Since 2004

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Friday Oct 08, 2004

Oct 7, 2004
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The fog may be clearing out

After comtemplating for a few moments I will try to make sense of what I am feeling. It's bugging me enough to try to rid these random but important issues before going to bed. I am going to try hard to get my life a little stable. There is a huge amount of topics bothering me but I have yet to confront them. I guess I am slacking in putting effort into many important facets in my life. In the past I have been really efficient in putting things into persective, realizing what is the best way to rectify issues, and inact on them without little fuss. Now I seem to be vurnerable to becoming a self-pitied and uninspired soul.

I have been searching for outside solutions other than finding them within myself. I've been stuck in a rutt longer than I expected but I hope to pry myself out of this crazy situation. It's insane that I am under the impression that I feel lonely but it strikes oftenly. I got wonderful friends but this strong yearning for a special woman to enter my world has kept me blind-sighted for far too long. I can't even focus on the more important issues that will assist me on voyage in the near future.

As of recently I have been an ideal friend. The past couple weeks there have been numerous times I would miss phone calls and not returning them. From time to time I think that I just want to be by myself. Today I will apologize to everyone that I have turned down in the past two weeks. Frustration comes to mind now; upset that I would do such things to friends who care for me.

I will try not to focus on women as I have. Will try to shift my mentality to help me achieve my aspirations. I guess all I want a helping hand or a person I can talk to. I will find a way to make my situation improve.

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