xxtmnt87xx

so, i crave lots of attention... but i never get anywhere near enough. i've never really gotten enough attention in my life, i've actually been ignored a lot, and it's really sucked. that's really the main reason i have this complex. i actually did have one point in my life where i got enough attention but that's long since gone and that person will never...
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Got asked if i was a virgin the other day at work. bleh. i hate my un-ability to lie for the most part. but yeah it's not so bad cause it's one of the people i would be friends with probably, cause he's good people.

worked out my legs last night. first time in years i've done any sort of leg excersize. did leg presses...
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so yeah you know what makes you feel good about yourself when you already feel utterly horrible about yourself? having people at work tell you your ugly all the time whether they are joking around with you or not. yeah it's awesome... spectacular. i really sometimes wonder why i feel so horrible about myself. oh wait. no no i don't.

yeah so i've realized, probably...
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Sometimes i hate being at work hearing the guys talk about their sex with their girlfriends. it kinda makes me feel like complete shit. even worse it makes me think about the same person as usual.

where does the line of love stop and the line of obsession begin?

why is it so wrong that i don't want to give up on someone who gave...
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saw this today and it made me giggle, so i decided to share it. cause yeah anything that can make me giggle has to be good.





who can be happy in a world where there's a god who kills kitten solely because you want to give yourself pleasure?


and i'm just gonna throw this out there cause i needa say it somewhere... i really wish...
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i fucking did it again >.< i went to her myspace knowing i'd feel like shit, but i did it. i hate every fucking day i live without her. i hate it. i fucking loathe my entire being. i can't for the love of me stop loving her. and yet i know there is nothing i could ever do to get her back. i hate...
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think about this. what do you contribute to the world? what do you do that means anything? what do you have to say to make anyone interested or make it affect someone's life? what is so important about you?

i think about things like that all the time. and honestly there's nothing that i can think of for answers. i don't have anything to talk...
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constant endless thinking on a subject that makes your heart die. loving while being unloved. being let down without ever wanting to let down. endless waves of emotion. pain beyond control. life without, is a life not worth living.

i'm on the verge of completely and utterly breaking down completely. every day just feels horrid. i wake up always in a bad mood, and unless something amazing changes then i end up feeling like shit all day. i can't control my anger, i hate my anger so much. i hate who i am. i hate everything about me.

i'll never find someone that will...
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How do you live with someone you hate especially when that person is yourself. people always tell me i'll find someone to love, and i always refuse that fact, because who could love someone that hates themself so much. no one could.

i've never wondered why i've lost most people as friends. i've never wondered why i'm not popular, i've never wondered why people stop...
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