xxtmnt87xx

i want to write a new blog but none of my blogs are ever new. i can't hold onto a happy thought for long enough for any of them to be new.

i want a real friend. i dunno. i know i have people who care about me on here, and all that, but i want someone completely different than i've ever had in my life. i want someone i can actually trust. i hear so many people tell me they care and something inside of me says i can't trust them. i don't know. i just want someone that can make me laugh, and not make me wonder if they actually like me. i mean i have a person that can make me laugh no matter how upset i am but, i just don't think he actually likes me as a person.

i've never been one to be good at managing multiple friends, i didn't grow up having friends really. a few here and there, always the type that when they needed someone to pick on they looked to me, but i just never had friends that lasted.

5 things i really want right now.
1.A Coolah.
2. cuddlng
3. a girlfriend
4. to give some oral
5. another Coolah.

just so people know, i am in a push people away kick, i've already started to do so on at least 3 people from here. so yeah, sorry about that.