i'm going to repost my last blog for anyone that didn't see it, because i have a bit more to say but i want everyone to see it. so i'll spoiler the previous blog and then go on.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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I'm worried about the person i will someday become...
I see myself being that person that lives with his parents for the rest of his life, because he can never afford to move out on his own. i worry that if i ever do end up moving out, i'll be that creepy neighbor that talks to no one, and who everyone in the neighborhood talks about. i worry that i'll be that guy that gets upset over the smallest of things and yells at everyone.
i'm far too emotional.
i get far too many crushes.
i fuck up friendships far to easily.
i think about myself far too much.
i'm far to attached to my bed.
i depend on others far too much
i joined Okcupid a few days ago and i'm already realizing how much i don't like it and why i don't like "dating sites". i don't like to go out looking for other people, all there really is to do on that site to meet people is to randomly view people's profiles and comment to them if you find them interesting, and i really don't like being the person making the first move. and really there's not gonna be a girl on there that'll make that first move towards me.
i'm sorry.
i'm not completely back here. i am back from anon, but part of the feelings that made me want to leave are still there. i'm still having a strong feeling of not wanting to try and talk to people. i don't know why and i don't know when it's going to go away but i don't know, i just don't want to go out of my way to try and start conversations with others.
my reason for leaving was never feeling like people didn't care. i know that you guys do.
i'm not asking for sympathy, i'm not looking for advice. i really really think i need to emotionally burn myself out. i just need to go through all of these emotions until i've gotten it all out of my system and just don't care anymore, and i have no idea how long that'll be.
but...was smooth, nonetheless.
PROPS!