i'm scared. i'm scared i'm never going to find someone. and no matter how much everyone says i will it doesn't help. people telling me how long others had to wait just makes me feel worse. i don't want to wait anymore. i hate being alone. i just want someone to make smile as much as humanly possible. someone to hug and hold and be there for always. i just want to be someone amazing for someone.
a lot of my issues of myself come from an overwhelming feeling to be perfect even though no person can be. but alas i still want to be, i want to be a better person, and yet i can't even stop thinking about myself and think about others more than i do.
sometimes like right now i really can't wait till i'm gone. you guys don't really deserve a friend like me, because i think more about myself than i should, and i'm too unhappy all the time when i should be greatful for what i have. you all deserve better than what i can offer.
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I'm beginning to realize that the only reason I'm single is that I'm afraid the girl will think I'm a going-nowhere looser who won't be able to hold her interest for longer than it takes for her to find out that I'm doing nothing with my life...
I'm also begining to realize that we need to cut ourselves some slack once in a while.
My situation is the result of a lot of shit I honestly cannot control... but is that a self-serving excuse???
If it is, so be it. Whatever helps me sleep at night until I feel confident enough to strike out.
Everyone's insecure about one thing or another they say.
If there isn't someone to truly love, who else is there? Your friends. So embrace them man, 'cuz for now it's all you have. Even with all your faults, people here seem to care about you... They don't seem to be asking for a reason to do so... you are though. So embrace your friendships and care for them like there's nothing else in the world for you, and give yourself a reason to think yourself worthy of such people.
And hope that the love you are looking for will come along soon enough...
My friend Chris is always saying I need to stop looking and just focus on myself... this is a guy who could go out every night and come home with a different girl... not the settling type at all...
Personally I usually dismiss what he tells me, but when I swallow my pride and look at the great relationship he managed to find I can't help but think "wow, maybe he's right"
"I never expected it", he says
So take a seat, have a glass of your favorite drink and rethink your life mate, 'cuz usually what you are looking for is right in front of you, and no matter what happens, it is the one or two real good friends one has that will be there for you every step of the way.
And hey, maybe you DO need to distance yourself... Sort whatever there is to sort out and go back to the people you know you can trust, because they'll be there for you when you come back.