xxtmnt87xx

Feeling kinda crappy again. i dunno. it seems like unless i have someone to constantly talk to i feel like crap. really the times i feel worst are when i'm at work doing my thing in the cellar, pulling shit putting it on the rollers and all that good fun. gives me time to think and i always think of the same person. i watch porn and i end up thinking about her. i'll randomly think of some of the hurtful things she said to me near the end of me ever hearing from her. i always think about how much i hate not knowing what's happening with her. i hate not hearing that she's ok from her.

i know i should be over her already... i mean it's been a year since she gave up on me... we weren't even dating... we said we loved each other but we weren't dating because of how we felt about online dating... bleh... i really wish i was impulsive and just went out to visit her. then maybe she'd still be a part of my life. i dunno. i can't stop caring for her.

i'm planning on drinking tonight. it'll be fun. people should try to talk to me tonight when i'm drunk it might be good laughs, there will probably be a better chance of that if i'm talking to someone so yeah.

I Play WoW. i'm a WoW addict... only i finished up leveling my current character and i'm waiting on friends to get their characters to my level. until then i'm not really doing anything on there. small things here and there but nothing really important.

I've decided to grow a summer beard... yeah i know that's backwards, but the reason i decided to start it was based on the lack of a shower/mirror to shave with. and i don't feel like going to someone else's house to shave. so yeah Beard for me, it'll be fun. i'll take pictures eventually, plus i'm planning on putting up old pictures again, to make up for taking them all down months back. it'll be wonderful, cause i'm dead sexy... only not really.

i'm so tired and so lonely... i wish i could meet someone. i just don't have the confidence to go up to a girl and talk to her. i saw a girl i thought was attractive at the gym the other night, and i'd look at her occasionally and i think at one point she was looking at me, and saw i was looking at her, and she smiled, but i didn't do anything about it. i just don't have the nerve to make the first move. the only place i'm good at talking to girl's is online. i don't even know what i would do if i got a girl's number, or what i would do if i had a girlfriend, bleh.

Ok here's a video of me doing "rave hands" it's not fantastic and all that such but yeah, made it cause someone asked me to.