xxtmnt87xx

so, i crave lots of attention... but i never get anywhere near enough. i've never really gotten enough attention in my life, i've actually been ignored a lot, and it's really sucked. that's really the main reason i have this complex. i actually did have one point in my life where i got enough attention but that's long since gone and that person will never be back in my life unfortunately, unless a miracle happens.

so this week apparently my parents are having our bathroom redone, which means i'm stuck without a shower for the week -_-. i hate not showering everyday never mind not showering for a week, plus what am i gonna do about going to the gym? i'm not gonna shower there cause i really don't feel like showering in a public area. and if i don't shower i'm gonna smell so bad. i sweat a lot when i'm at the gym.

i need to get someone to play stratego with. seriously. that game was the awesome. and even crazier i have the star wars stratego so it's got some extra rules that you can use if you want to. but really that game was one of the more awesome games way back when. that and Mille Bornes, ugh i loved that game but so few people i've ever talked to have even heard of it. so good.

last night i think i had a dream about thinking about the girl multiple times or something, and like it made me break down. i know it didn't really happen, because if it did i was half a sleep. but yeah sucks, i even think about her when i'm asleep :-(. i'll never figure out how to stop loving her as much as i do and not think about her. i'm a sap, and i was never meant to be in love.