xxtmnt87xx

every day i feel like i'm drowning into madness a little more. everyday i keep thinking about her. every day i'm wishing things would work out in some magical way. everyday i wish i could just make that girl smile her god damn brains out. and everyday i worry about how everyone else thinks i'm crazy for how i feel, and they are all gonna tell me how much of a horrible person the girl is. i know i'm not delusional. i know things aren't gonna work out, and i know if we were ever friends again things would never be the same. they could never be the same. but deep down inside, one day, some how, i need to see her in person, just once, but before i do that i need to get her to agree to that. but even before that i need to let a years time pass before i even contact her again.

the holidays are coming up and i really really don't want them to anymore. i used to love holidays, but i don't know, this year, everything feels different. and the realization that i'm spending another holiday without being with a person that is in love with me, just makes it that much worse. on top of that, the holiday season is really busy at work and this year it's gonna be a huge pain in the ass for me having to work 2 departments.

i love now and laters so much. and i need to buy myself a few cases, because the only two flavors i really like are cherry and fruit punch, and there's no stores around that sells now and laters anymore to my knowledge. i have a site i get them through and it's always worked wonderfully.

i wish i could have my own slush puppy machine. that would be wonderful. i love slush puppies so god damn much, but again there's not really any places around that sell slush puppies. and the few places that i can think of don't use the real slush puppy jucies so it sucks.

my wrist has been sore the past couple of mornings i'm thinking i slept on it or something. hopefully it gets better soon.

*cleans off face* now who needs a seat?