so yeah i really don't think i'm meant to date/be in love/get married/anything that has to do with the opposite sex... i dunno i'm just really dependent on people i guess. likr my emotions very much so stem from others. i can't be happy if i don't have someone that i really truly care for and they are a main part of my life. i dunno i just need someone giving me attention, cause i really never get any attention in my life. i've been ignored so much that i need attention more than anything else.
it's hard for me to not be sad. because when i think it makes me upset about what i want, and what i can't have, and what i've lost. i can stop myself from thinking but not forever. and when i get thinking i end up getting myself depressed. and even though i could stop thinking a good amount of the time... but not when i'm driving... when i drive it's like i go into this mode where it's just second nature. i don't pay attention but i know what dto do and i know what's going on with the other cars. so automattically my brain kicks in and i think a hell of a lot.
i know in order t find someone i need to be happy on my own, to be ok with myself and confident, but being tyat i've had years to myself, years of the only dialogue i've ever heard was internal dialogue, it's hoard to no think about things. and i think about what means most to me, and that's being in love, and also unfortunatly the girl i love.
if i ever find someone to love i'll end up becoming too needy. and it's really not something that anyone wants. i dunno. i can't help the unhappiness. i was completely happy with her. nothing could bother me for more than a day. because at the end of the day i'd talk to her and see her and i'd be so god damn happy. she made me feel better than i ever felt before.
i really kind of want to get branded maybe. i dunno i just love the look of scars. i have some scars i really like on my body, natural ones, and i think i'd love it if i had one that had some sort of desigin to it. i dunno that i'll ever do it though.
girls have cooties
it's hard for me to not be sad. because when i think it makes me upset about what i want, and what i can't have, and what i've lost. i can stop myself from thinking but not forever. and when i get thinking i end up getting myself depressed. and even though i could stop thinking a good amount of the time... but not when i'm driving... when i drive it's like i go into this mode where it's just second nature. i don't pay attention but i know what dto do and i know what's going on with the other cars. so automattically my brain kicks in and i think a hell of a lot.
i know in order t find someone i need to be happy on my own, to be ok with myself and confident, but being tyat i've had years to myself, years of the only dialogue i've ever heard was internal dialogue, it's hoard to no think about things. and i think about what means most to me, and that's being in love, and also unfortunatly the girl i love.
if i ever find someone to love i'll end up becoming too needy. and it's really not something that anyone wants. i dunno. i can't help the unhappiness. i was completely happy with her. nothing could bother me for more than a day. because at the end of the day i'd talk to her and see her and i'd be so god damn happy. she made me feel better than i ever felt before.
i really kind of want to get branded maybe. i dunno i just love the look of scars. i have some scars i really like on my body, natural ones, and i think i'd love it if i had one that had some sort of desigin to it. i dunno that i'll ever do it though.
girls have cooties
heavenandhell:
you already have all the answers, so go apply them. 