i don't want any comments on this one. i'm sick of only getting noticed when i'm unhappy so lets just act like i'm unnoticed.
Blarg, i'm just too damn emotional lately, like every little thing makes me feel bad. i don't get anywhere near as much attention as i require, and i just am so incredibly sick of try to get attention from my friends, and the people i care about.
i'm so incredibly sick of silence, like i mean it's not any where near always silent, it's just i barelly ever have reason to speak, and i have even less time where i'm spoken to. i mean i'd be fine with silence, even if it was just me being with someone i loved. bleh i just don't even have anything worth saying anymore. i've never had anything worth saying.
i don't know how to interact with people, i don't know what to talk about, i don't know how to act, i just never learned growing up because i didn't have the friends i should have, and i was ignored by my family for the most part. i don't know.
i feel like i'm being torn apart emotionally, i just don't want to be where i'm at in my life, and i judt don't even know if i even want to hope for friends or anything anymore sometimes. because in the end, friends have always let me down, and i don't know. i really really want to just give up, and go back to just watching tv and not even coming online anymore. it was easier then because then i wasn't even trying so i wasn't failing. all i ever do at everything is failing.
it sucks, that i want to make someone feel like they are the most important person in the world hands down, and that there's no one that could ever matter, and apparently no one ever wants to give me the time of day, no one wants to even make me feel close to important. no one ever wants to give me attention, no one ever wants to try to make conversation with me, i'm sick of being the persuer, it royally sucks, it's not fun always being the person that's trying to get someone to talk to me. i've only ever had one person in my life that made me feel like they were persuing a conversation with me, and i love her, and she wants nothing to do with me. people tell me to stop worrying about her, but how can i when she was the only person that gave me waht i needed. bleh i just really really really want to stay in bed and never leave.
Blarg, i'm just too damn emotional lately, like every little thing makes me feel bad. i don't get anywhere near as much attention as i require, and i just am so incredibly sick of try to get attention from my friends, and the people i care about.
i'm so incredibly sick of silence, like i mean it's not any where near always silent, it's just i barelly ever have reason to speak, and i have even less time where i'm spoken to. i mean i'd be fine with silence, even if it was just me being with someone i loved. bleh i just don't even have anything worth saying anymore. i've never had anything worth saying.
i don't know how to interact with people, i don't know what to talk about, i don't know how to act, i just never learned growing up because i didn't have the friends i should have, and i was ignored by my family for the most part. i don't know.
i feel like i'm being torn apart emotionally, i just don't want to be where i'm at in my life, and i judt don't even know if i even want to hope for friends or anything anymore sometimes. because in the end, friends have always let me down, and i don't know. i really really want to just give up, and go back to just watching tv and not even coming online anymore. it was easier then because then i wasn't even trying so i wasn't failing. all i ever do at everything is failing.
it sucks, that i want to make someone feel like they are the most important person in the world hands down, and that there's no one that could ever matter, and apparently no one ever wants to give me the time of day, no one wants to even make me feel close to important. no one ever wants to give me attention, no one ever wants to try to make conversation with me, i'm sick of being the persuer, it royally sucks, it's not fun always being the person that's trying to get someone to talk to me. i've only ever had one person in my life that made me feel like they were persuing a conversation with me, and i love her, and she wants nothing to do with me. people tell me to stop worrying about her, but how can i when she was the only person that gave me waht i needed. bleh i just really really really want to stay in bed and never leave.