xxtmnt87xx

all i do is complain now adays. i don't have anything to make me feel better, i don't have anyone to make me feel better, i don't have any that i feel to be a solid person in my life outside my family. i'm so very alone. it's all i know. i just want to sleep forever, i just want to go away forever. i just want to feel special for once, like she made me feel.

i need attention, i never got it growing up, and i still don't get it now. she gave me it, she gave me more attentopn than i could have ever hoped for and then one day she just stopped, and everything just went to shit for me. and now i can't not feel like shit. i can't feel better, no matter how much i try and no matter how much others try.

i want to not leave my bed for like a week. i want to not feel this way anymore i want to not remember the past 21 years of my life or as much of it as i do remember. I want to stop wanting to get married when i can't even get a date. i want to stop caring so much, and stop taking everything to heart. i want to stop being me.



my heart hurts for being alive. i just don't want to be reminded i'm fucked up anymore, i don't want to be reminded that there's something wrong with me. i don't want to fucking cry anymore. people just make me sad in general. i wish i could just live out my days in my bed till i die.