Tuesday Jun 13, 2006

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bleh. i didn't go to sid's birthday party. lots of nerves acting up. thought about how i might drive an hour and 45 minutes and not even see her, and even if i did see her i didn't know whether i'd actually go and tell her happy birthday or anything. on top of that i've been thinking about the girl (not sid) all day today. i hate not knowing anything that's happening in her life. i hate that she hates me. i hate that i can't stop loving her. and so i know if i drank if i went, then i woulda been depressed. so that woulda sucked too. i don't know.

i'm starting to not like it on here anymore, i dunno it's just another realization that i'm not interesting enough for people to like me. any damn website thing i do the same shit happens. i post shit no one even notices said post, and if they do it's not interesting enough to comment. i dunno. i'm just very very depressed lately, mostly over the girl. god things suck right now.

i'm sick of being single, but i don't have the balls to meet new people, and as easy as people think it is to change that it's not that easy for me. the years have not been kind to me and it's all just made me more and more interverted(sp). i dunno, even if i meet somebody i'll probably fuck it up by thinking about the girl, but i need to actually have a relationship. i've never not been single frown.
had_matter:
That's how the internet works. There's a greater number of people and constant access to new people so there's less emotional involvement with them. I think it's actually harder to meet people and have meaningful relationships online. But don't ask me for advice with girls. It's only recently that I've started finding it easy to approach girls and talk to them. Part of that results from learning to define clear emotional boundaries not being afraid that that might be a problem in the future. IDK if that's your problem. If Sid hates you then I would say avoid her.
dreamarie:
Dude your like hot number one.
Number 2... i Understand whole heartedly about you not being over "the Girl" just in my case its a guy.
3.. If you got to work or school Im sure theres at least a female friend you can talk to about the girl or just anything you feel.
Everything is always easier said than done
And stop putting yourself down kiss

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