I watched Eturnal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I do love the film and think it is one of the greatest modern films. But for some strainge reason I can not watch it. After thinking about it far to much, I have come to the conclusion that it is because when I watch the film I just identify to much with Jim Carreys character and the situatio he is in. The film brings up bad memories of relationships I have been in and stupid things I did in them. I have had a crush on Kate Winslet for a long long time but as Clementine she is just my ideal woman. I like the faults that she has, the fact that she changes her hair and her sense of humour. It brings back memories of my ex girlfirend. This is all very disturbing as we split up 5 years ago and have never found anyone quite like her. It is all very sad. What makes it worse is that when I like someone I start to put myself down and actively try and put the girl off of me. I have been trying to change my life and get back into meeting people but it feels wierd and watching Eturnal sunshine reminds me of when I was always feeling dawn and was a confused mess. 