xxjcblackheartxx

Sunny is well on her way to West Virginia at this point....I hear so much through mutual friends about her future plans in life and how basically i've been erased from her existence in so many words... she has all these concerns i guess that i'll try and ruin her marriage....which I have no plans to nor would I put her in a tough spot...I guess the fact that i am "the other guy" will be enough for her to deal with when she gets to West Virginia...I guess it effects her so much that she is pushing for her and her husband to re station to Ft Hood TX as she knows i am from Fayetteville NC...currently where her husband is stationed...throughout this whole ordeal even after she left me i paid for her car to get fixed so she could see her children and of all things get back with her husband...wow if I feel like a chump I can't believe i love someone so much that I would put myself in such a state...

The part that hurts...is the feeling of being erased thrown away...being a dirty little secret...to so many in this town they knew us as a couple in love and saw we were legitimately making a go at this relationship ...to all of her friends and family who never knew about me in WV I guess i'll be the scum of the earth...when I did nothing but love her and support her the best way I possibly could... I can't even look at mutual friends we have on facebook as its to painful to look at her....furthermore this was an something that went on so long that people that know us well just don't say too much about it for fear of her being exposed....She asked me through a friend to take down a comment i made about her putting his ring back on and i did...

I'll never repeat this again i'll never be second to someone i know i deserve better than that in a person ...still it hurts all the reasons she left her husband in the first place are stuck in my head.....I have begun to focus on myself still it hurts so badly that we can't even communicate at all...

I am in such a state of discontent and pain
my heart is closed for business how can i trust people when I tried my best and gave my whole heart and i was still torn apart on the inside....after all the times she reassured me we were ok and that she loved me ...it was all for naught