I feel like beating a dead horse with these shitty feelings...It sucks this is all i have to talk about ..but it is what it is....
I know I am not perfect by any means but I think I deserve to be happy and that seems to escape me ...I am in such a crappy mood right now...when you want something you'll not settle for anything less...so knowing that thing that I want is probably out of reach for all time is pretty heart breaking....
On top of that this divorce shit is breaking me financially, its all good ..i am still planning on my trip to the UK and Europe even if i have to break into my savings.........
feeling this song a lot lately
I have to stop with this shit i have to find a way to not let my depression, low self esteem and self pity, eat me alive...i know have to be stronger than this .....I've won 4 out of 6 of my fights to qualify for the tournament..i am off to train very very hard i am really in a shitty mood i am a mixture of explosive anger at myself and my imperfections and deep sadness ...I have to use this and push fucking forward and stop being fucking weak....at the very least today will be a great day in the gym and on the mat....I see my opponent now as this person that I could never be this person that has everything in life that I've never had, ever girl I've ever wanted but was passed over for...i think this and i know i have to crush them when the match starts.....
I just hope i can harness these bad feelings for good and not succumb to my drinking....
I know I am not perfect by any means but I think I deserve to be happy and that seems to escape me ...I am in such a crappy mood right now...when you want something you'll not settle for anything less...so knowing that thing that I want is probably out of reach for all time is pretty heart breaking....
On top of that this divorce shit is breaking me financially, its all good ..i am still planning on my trip to the UK and Europe even if i have to break into my savings.........
feeling this song a lot lately
I have to stop with this shit i have to find a way to not let my depression, low self esteem and self pity, eat me alive...i know have to be stronger than this .....I've won 4 out of 6 of my fights to qualify for the tournament..i am off to train very very hard i am really in a shitty mood i am a mixture of explosive anger at myself and my imperfections and deep sadness ...I have to use this and push fucking forward and stop being fucking weak....at the very least today will be a great day in the gym and on the mat....I see my opponent now as this person that I could never be this person that has everything in life that I've never had, ever girl I've ever wanted but was passed over for...i think this and i know i have to crush them when the match starts.....
I just hope i can harness these bad feelings for good and not succumb to my drinking....
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Yes, times are shitty right now, things are complicated and stuff may not be going exactly right, but the fact is that you're already seeing the light from all the positive changes you've made. Your training has paid off with all your wins, the divorce is getting sorted out one way or another and it seems like work is going from strength to strength!
Focus on the good and things will keep getting better. Promise.
(P.S. I know I'm late on this one, but NATE DOGG!?!?!
Though tbf I play dirty