xxdistortmexx

So I called my ex-boyfriend, Nathan.I left a voicemail message. A quivering voicemail message.
And three or four days passed.
He never called me.
So I was like, "Okay, that's cool."

But then this morning I wake up to a phone call.
Mind you I have laryngiitis right now so I sound ridiculous and I'm half asleep and I do NOT want to answer the phone.
And I'm like, "Hello?"
"Hey."
"......Nate?"

So I'm having a heart attack. Naturally.
So we talk for a good thirty minutes. And I'm telling him about my gallery showing I have at 5 and he's like, "So what are you doing before your gallery showing?"
"Not really anything... just sitting here at the house."
"Would you want to get into something before you go?"
"..... Of course I would."

So you'd think this was all find and good.
And it was amazing to think that I'd see him.
I was scared as Hell.
Nervous, rather.
Anyway... we went back to his place.
And fucked around.
Probably what I didn't want to happen, but I let it happen anyway. I was thinking, "Why feel weird about this when you were doing this all the time just a year ago?"
But I guess I'm afraid that he'll get the impression that that's all I wanted was to hook up and be done with it.
Don't get me wrong - that's not all that happened. We talked for what seemed like ages.
Just hung around.
But it still happened.
And when he took me home, I kissed him and said, "You can call me anytime you want to, okay?" and he said okay.

And now I don't know.

blah.