xxdistortmexx

Nape = done.

Forgive the marker.
You know how that goes.
I actually had it done yesterday afternoon.
Yeah, I'm pretty much in love with it.

I had a pretty good birthday.
Well, the end of the night wasn't exactly AWESOME, because it was filled with semi-bad news...
Jake has been here for around two weeks, and I've been spending a lot of time with him. It's been hard in a way, he's still got this enormous wall built up that I'm beating at with my fists, and let's just say that my fists are pretty bloody. Oh, and I may have cracked a knuckle or two. He's pretty tough to get to. He's a hardcore commitment-aphobe.. hah.
But I won't give up on him, for whatever fucked up reason.
For the same fucked up reason he's trying with me. If he had that much of a wall he wouldn't even be wasting his days with me, and I know that. I guess I get a little frustrated with my open feeling and his closed doors.
I will not give up.
And I will be patient.
Anyway, what I was trying to say, about the semi-bad news, was that he's leaving again... for a week or so... which sucks pretty bad, but it's not like it's three months or anything like last time, so, you know. I'll be fine. I had to spend my last night with him yesterday (my birthday). Then starting today he is gone for the next week or two. And then I just wait again. Wait for him to come back.
Once again I sit and wonder if I waste my time.
Sit and wonder.

Eh.

I'm just going to hang out. Be myself. Not worry about it.
It's the best thing I can do. I don't like to beat myself up over things.

<3