xxdistortmexx

This is the first time in... a long time - that I haven't been able to sleep.
I have to be up around seven too, but I just can't get myself to sleep. I tried for a while before finally giving up and coming down here to the computer. It doesn't help that I have one of those "alone" feelings where I just want someone to hold me and there's no one at all to do such a thing.

One particular person is nearly an hour and a half away and we talked for the first time in I don't know how long just the other night. I was so enthused to hear from them. He asked me to come see him, but I didn't get the chance to and oh, I would have. I would have driven that hour and a half just to see him for twenty minutes. He'll never, ever form to what I want him to, but every time, no matter what has happened, if I get the chance to just be around him I cannot refuse. Which is pathetic really.
And hey, I'm sure everyone knows who I'm talking about too.
Fucking Chris.
Anyway, at least we're talking to each other again after a period of oh, four months without speaking a word to each other. I haven't even a clue why either.
But God I wish he'd just get the fuck out of my head.

Or I wish someone amazing would just show up and put their arms around me and make me feel safe.

I don't know.

I start feeling so weird the later it gets.