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Dropped by Buddy's tonight.
Looks like Nathan has his own place.
I ended up running into him, to say the least.
And we talked, and he was really nice -
but standing there, leaning against my car, watching him -
my heart was breaking into a million pieces.


Still haven't fucked anyone yet. Working on that though. Haha.
wink
nikonphoto80:
Im so sorry that your heart still hurts.

Any man that wouldn't fuck you has got something wrong with them.
kiss
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*twitches*
I have to fuck someone or I'm going to spontaneously combust.
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anotherhobo:
Haha, that's salty. I can go forever without sex.
hyperboy:
lol, now I am sure that perked alot of ears up wink

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I have eaten way too much chocolate today. I couldn't take this eating healthy bullshit, so I gave a day to fall off the wagon. White chocolate peanut butter eggs, oh heck yes.

And I really, really have to pee right now, but I'll go after I type this. biggrin

Cody, Kaylyn and I went out and ate Chinese food today. (Food everywhere, I know) Awesome...
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recipeforhate:
You're welcome dear!

kiss
s_eldorado:
Good talking with you last night - sorry if I talked your ear off - too much coffee.

Now hurry up and post those pics!
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New day.
Different feelings.
Sort of.

I keep running into Buddy (mutal friend of Nate's whose house I used to hang out at when Nate and I were going out). I went to Wal-mart after work to buy bactine, and saw him there. I tried looking straight ahead, I tried pretending I couldn't see him.
But he saw me.
So I turned my head.
And...
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nikonphoto80:
Wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle.

So did I wriggle it out of you yet no well let me try again?

Wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle wriggle

Ok all joking aside I would like to know, it would make it simpler for me to understand what you are going throw. I dont know if you are like me when I say that it is not as tuff to put it on sg as it is to tell some one face to face, that is why until I got feed up with some one telling me to get over it I would put up all my problems and feelings. So if you would like to tell me im a good listener And I would be glad to talk about what is going on with you, you can email it to me if you want.

Any way it seems like you are in better spirits today that t is very good I was getting warred about you.

You probable dont wont to hear this but I thank you would be better off if you went some where else and lived for a while I know that when I left my home town it was very hard at first but I fond life more pleasant when I did, at lest if you did you wouldn't have to see the x if you didnt wont to.

biggrin
s_eldorado:
Just glad to know you're ok. Did you get my email? Feel free to use as necessary.

I was a bit worried when you didn't post and we didn't hear from you! Don't be doin that again young lady or I'll have to punish you...

mmmm punishment... wink
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I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I swear to God I fucking hate it.

I hate being alone.
I hate missing people.
I hate being left out.
I hate the fact that it seems like there must be something SO fucking wrong with me that I can't find anyone at fucking all.

I hate this fucking day.
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s_eldorado:
Hey, weird - I posted in your journal last night and it's gone now...

Anyways, I've emailed you my sontact info if you want to call you're totally welcome.

Lots of love xo
nikonphoto80:
have a happy bunny day eat lots of chocolate eggs for me, if the easter bunny was a cute as you than we would never grow to old for easter fun.

i hope yo fell better today i worry about you and think of you often. smile
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nikonphoto80:
Wow that is one of the pretest photos ever, you get prettier ever photo. kiss
s_eldorado:
Doin ok... still not sleeping enough lately. Wearing me down but that's ok.
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nikonphoto80:
Glad you got the paper done, very nice drawing. kiss
nikonphoto80:
So do you want to join my change the would army it will be lots of fun with out all the guns. kiss
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nikonphoto80:
Thats good most jobs wouldnt let you. kiss
nikonphoto80:
so how goes it. biggrin
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I took a new profile picture today. Woo. I was getting tired of the old one.



The Ring 2? Don't see it. Save your money. Unless you're one of those people that somehow seem to like really crappy, cheesy sequels.
I still had fun being out with Cody and Kaylyn though. They make me laugh so fucking hard.


Work went by fast. Probably because we...
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nikonphoto80:
Well age does not mater at all i dont thank, I thank it is so much better for a girl to go out with an older man because girls matcher a lot faster than men if we ever do lol, but the thing is he is a fry cook who is 10 years older than you if he is still doing fast food and not going to school he is probable not going to do much with his life and he might keep you back because you are going to go fare in this life you are to smart and talented but im not going to say dont date him its not my place.

I like stupid moves because I get to make fun of them its the greatest when me and my friends would go to see a stopped move we would make fun of it for weeks its just a fucking good time.
I hope you get your CDs and money back.
kiss
ohcrapimdying:
thank you smile
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nikonphoto80:
Great drawing you are very good. kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
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I'm thinking of going back to sleep until two, getting up, taking a shower, then getting work overwith.
Wow, this is going to be the most routine, boring day ever.

I feel a tad bit better? I don't know. It's not one of those things I can forget about.

I had a nightmare last night - first one I've had in a long time. I...
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nikonphoto80:
Im glad your feeling better, im sorry your friend ditched you, I think she should have spent time with you seeing how you are having a hard time write now.
That sucks you didnt get to go to the play, so where in Huntington was the play.
I hope work goes good today, and I hope you find something cool to do when you get off.
love love love love love love love love love
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I'm depressed.

Beyond depressed. The kind where you feel like yelling and crying and beating your fists into something...

because I feel like I'm nothing.

I feel ugly.

I feel like there is something wrong with me...

I want something good to happen to me. My kind of good. My own idea.

Everytime I get my mind set on something I let it slip through...
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nikonphoto80:
Well you know I thank that you are beautiful I tell you all the time and I dont say it to see my self type I say it because I believe it and I know a beautiful women when I see her and I see her right now.
Dont say you are nothing because you are not nothing you are a great artist who with some good training will become even better you are smart you are cool and you are the only one who got my afi quote that alone makes you cool.
If you wont to talk to some one about depression im an expert iv been on more ups and downs than a roller coaster and I have way more bad stuff happen to me than you have I promise so if you want some one to talk to we can have a email chat.
Things will change you are too nice to cool and to god dame hot not to find happiness.
I hope to hear from you soon.
s_eldorado:
Can I help?

I'm a tad sleepless and out of it but I'll be glad to do what I can from a distance...

What are you letting slip through your fingers? what is your kind of good/idea?

C'mon, spill it - you know you want to! wink

xo