xxdarkenedxx

Being open
The greatest thing you will learn in life is to live. To feel. To experience and to grow. So many events will occur, so many significant things will happen. All of this will shape who you are, expand your mind, develop you as a person. The more experience the more contrasting ideas and emotions you will feel and learn. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It can't be helped, they just happen.

So what can we do with it? Not much really, just sit back and enjoy the ride, let the times follow along with us and all of this take place and form shapes.
We have a lot of influences in our life. Art, music, surroundings, other people, events and many more things.

Quite often it is unexpected and the longer we live, the more we learn. How we deal with a situation in life will change as time progresses and we develop as people.

Our outlook on things often shape how they will progress and how we move on. A negative viewpoint may make the consequences seem bleak, yet a happy view may make the follow through much more acceptable and easier to deal with.

The more contrast and the more we experience, the more pathways will open up and more options arise as we continue through.

At times things may seem harsh and unbearable, other times we will never feel happier with the way things are going. It seems irrational. Is it fate? Is it just completely random, or are we in control.
If you made a different decision in the past would we be where we are right now?

I dont think there is anything I would change. Many events I wish had happened differently, but because of how they happened, I learnt from them, I developed and am who I am today. It just has to be dealt with, learnt from or put behind us.

The past can hurt, but this can be a valuable lesson. To grow stronger, or allows a different course of action to take place.

Looking back a lot of hurtful things have happened, but events which followed have a complete contrasting effect. If these things did not happen would the better things in life still have occurred? Or do we really need this contrast to allow things to follow through and emerge as they happen.

One of the main things in my life has been the split of my parents. I was hurt beyond all belief. It seemed unbearable, but without realising my life completely changed, I became a different person, it opened more doors which could not have been predicted.

After this one of the most memorable was a girl. Things seemed perfect and went on for a long time, then more changes happened and what was first found was lost. I still wanted it, but it couldn't continue as was. I couldnt see it at the time, but still saw the growing apart. It had no answers. Similarly in the same way as my parents had split.

After this I grew more as a person, yet more doors opened, and feelings from before were pushed aside, making way for the new experiences.

Quite a while after, the excitement has died down. Looking back I understand how things wouldn't have worked out the way it was going, and appreciate this, yet now Im still looking back, feelings still intact, changed, but still wondering if she feels the same or anything, or has a substitute been found or something better.

I can still see a future with her. There was something there which I doubt can be replaced, only ever hidden or substituted.

I can still see that the timing wouldnt be right if I was to get her back. There could still be something there, feelings still growing back and more emerging, yet not anything longer lasting.

At the same time I can also feel that someday in the future, once we are older, that there could definitely be something worth while. Something real like was there at first then faded. But not now. Not yet.

I want it back. I want the feelings, but at the same time I dont think it can really happen. Not yet anyway.

Im at another lost state. Wanting to feel for another person like I had done before. I can understand it just happens, it cant be forced or made to occur. It just will.

Right now I just hope the future leads back to her. Every time I have seen her since, there has still been some connection. Something real, but the timing isnt right. Other complications have gotten in the way. Perhaps someday.

It could just be the lack of someone else in my life that is bringing on these false dreams. Who knows? Time will tell.

I suppose these downsides are needed to allow us to truly appreciate other things. You can never truly miss something or understand what it means to you until it is gone.

To the future. To life. To living.

I wish you all the best, and hope happiness will find you in its own unique form for each and every person. That you can understand that living and being alive is the greatest gift ever. That we need down to have the contrast for up, and that we can all appreciate that which is dear to us.



Peace. Xx