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xx_river_xx

Carson Shitty, NV

Hopeful Since 2007

Followers 207 Following 153

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Tuesday Aug 28, 2007

Aug 28, 2007
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New post to lighten the mood. My last post sucked. whatever

I get paid on Friday. I can't wait. My refrigerator is empty, except for WIC stuff. My pantry has greenbeans and breakfast cereal... I hate going to the cupboard looking for something to eat, and staring for a half-hour. So for dinner the next 3 days, it's going to be tough... It's only like this once in a great while..... but it still always reminds me of how it felt growing up. We never had real food in the house. My mother used to tell me that meat and vegitables were expensive, but she always had things like Oreos and Pop-Tarts in the house... There were several times we couldn't even go grocery shopping, and my mom's sister would buy groceries for us... One time, it was bread, lettuce, Keebler cookies, Ice-cream and peanut-butter..... I think my mom's whole family has really fucked up views on food. We went to the soup kitchen sometimes, when things got really bad, but I was always hungry...

Eventually I blocked out the hunger and just didn't eat. In high-school I was anorexic, but I didn't think about it. I honestly didn't feel hunger. Once a week, my mom would make me eat with everyone else at the dinner table. I didn't eat much then, or I'd lie and say I had a huge lunch at school. I payed attention to what my friends were eating sometimes and I would tell my mother details about what I had eaten that day at school, so I didn't have to eat at home... when in fact, I just didn't eat at all. I drank pop or juice, but I don't remember ever eating food in Highschool, unless it was a special occasion like a birthday party. It took me 2 years after I got married before I finally got over it, and I actually started feeling hungry. So I'm okay now, but my husband still checks in every once in a while making sure I ate that day. lol

Empty pantry = Stressed Allie! I genuinely freak out.

As financially stable as I am, there are still times when the money gets tight, and right now is one of them. Especially aweful for trying to plan a trip to the states in October. My husband's mom is paying for the airfare biggrin , but the rest is up to me. I'm going to be fine, but finances are definately a hot-button for me. Well, for everyone as I understand. It's alright, I just need to keep myself more busy so I don't think about it until payday.

I'm getting ready for a Barbecue with Torgaddon and Lilandra next month. I am really looking forward to that. I haven't had a big party in a long while, but I fully plan on disturbing the neighbors! wink

I feel like I'm terrible at the whole blogging thing lately... I know when Rigel gets back I'll feel better. smile
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
lilandra:
lol, its that or pasta and tuna!

Torgaddon is a total sweety, he is very bitable, he also thinks your great!
I like the idea of purple!!! smile
Aug 28, 2007
badrobot:
Loving the new haircut and green bra combo biggrin
Aug 29, 2007

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